For divorcing couples who can’t agree on a number of things, divorce may seem like a battle that they need to win. If you feel the same, it is important to keep in mind that not everything you consider as a battle is worth fighting for. This is especially true if winning means spending thousands of dollars and inflicting pain on others or everyone else involved.
Long Island divorce attorneys note that determining what is and what is not worth fighting for can be a bit tricky, particularly when emotions are involved. This can keep you from acting rationally, prompting you and your spouse to fight over the littlest things. Below are a few tips to keep in mind when choosing your divorce battles:
Can you live without it?
Not everyone going through a divorce is facing similar situations. This only makes it important to think hard and figure out on your own what is truly worth the time and energy. These may include getting the house, the custody of the kids, alimony, or even household items. It is best to focus more on those that will significantly affect your future instead of those that you can buy or replace later on.
Are you fighting because of hurt and anger?
If your spouse has betrayed you or has done something unimaginable, you may feel the need to get even or punish them. Wicked plans of revenge, however, can only backfire and invite more hostility in the future. It may also encourage your soon-to-be ex-spouse to do the same or get back at you. This will then waste time, effort, and money that could have been spent on things that matter.
Why can’t you let some things go?
Most of the things you cannot give up are usually tied on your emotions. If you feel that your kids should spend more time with you than your ex, figure out why you feel this way. Is it because your partner is a bad parent, or are you just hurt and resentful of everything that has happened? If you’re always justifying the things you think you deserve, it is best to take a step back and think things through.
How will this affect your future?
It may seem understandable that you want to fight and win everything. The sad part is, some battles can leave you broke and drained, which will then make it difficult for you to start a new chapter in your life. This is why before you commit to doing or winning something, look at the bigger picture and consider how you will feel about in the future.
Is there really a winner and a loser?
No. Nobody really comes out as a winner in divorce. This is because you cannot get everything you want and leave your spouse with nothing. Both parties will have to compromise and agree on a settlement that they are not entirely satisfied. You may appear as a loser, however, if you always act based on your emotions, embarrass your spouse, and hesitate to cooperate.
Mindfully choose your battles and keep in mind that not everything is worth fighting for. It is best to work with an experienced divorce attorney who cannot just protect and defend your rights, but also help you determine the things that matter the most.